I have so much to learn….

And I know I’m weak
I know I’m unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I LOVE STARFIELD MAN! (on a different note) I think janice and sonia are great! They have utmost praise for the Lord and ain’t afraid to show it. When they have any achievements, they glorify him, most importantly they put their gifts from God to good use and and in turn, i was blessed……… God really is the best!!!!!

I was effing pissed off at myself a few days ago because i really could not stand the way i live my life/study/do stuff. I had a moment of hatred for myself, and it just manifests in me like SARS germs only much much much more faster. I took it out on my friends and for that i am deeply sorry. i hope they understand that i don’t mean any hurtful things i said that day, and the next time i want to be emo, i will try to choose a day when i am alone and try not to dampen the outing mood.  My tests as usual…… SIGH* cadd is gone case………….. nvm, i will try to make my poly life as regret-less as possible. Even the bad things i must thank and praise Him, for He is the one who keeps me grounded. Perhaps he knows what kind of a “que de” person i am, that’s y He did this……. =)

I feel that i still have alot to learn about my faith, and i wanna learn more. In church today, the speaker talks about resolutions. In 2010, i must draw closer to Him, no matter what setbacks i encounter, what problems i have to face, i must learn that He is the only thing steadfast in my life and i must NEVER forget that. Today is Valentine’s Day cum Chinese New Year cum the Lord’s Day. He said the Lord’s day must take precedence. I TOTALLY AGREE. because everything you own, belongs to Him, and because He loves me so much, He gave me everything. (family, friends, love, wealth, health, everything that i can ask for) Because i have really seen God’s mercy and love through my mum and many other people, i can re-affirm that He is real. A mentor said that as Christians, we are bound to face lots of different funny things….. That is because through you, He wants to show to others and of course to yourself, that He loves you, and He will never abandon you. Of course, i know that i say so much many people also have doubts, because of this, i will pray that these people can experience His love first hand and know how fortunate they are that God loves them…..

I dunno, i feel very touched that i am loved by such a being. My friend told me something that made me very sad, and i dunno…. i feel…. very torn……. I believe that if she come to know the Lord, she will definitely NOT ACT THIS WAY. But … i myself am in the midst of learning how to be closer to Him, i dunno how to say this subject to her….. This is one of the signs that i need to have faith in Him more….. and that i still have tons to learn. I really pray that i can help as many people as possible, and really understand what God wants me to do for Him. He has given me so much, this is the ONLY thing i can do for Him.

Like the song says, I am unworthy to even call His name, but because He loves me, i can stand here unashamed and worship Him. He is so so so so so pure, and i am exactly the opposite…. I think among the many Christians, i am the only one who acts the opposite of what God wants me to act. I curse, i am not thankful, i get pissed off easily, sometimes, i even try to ignore His presence in my life. Man, do i suck…….. But i resolve to learn, and hopefully, i can show the world that God is the best, and always will be. (i hope that when people meet me they will not have the wrong idea of how Christians are man. -.—–)

ok, i have emo-ed finish, now i must go back to study…. SUCKS MAN, I HATE STUDYING THE MOST COZ I ALWAYS END UP FALLING ASLEEP LIKE A LOG AND ONLY WAKE UP WHEN IT IS TOO LATE.

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